Funny Whatsapp Status english

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If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become

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Sunny Deol :P:D:P ?

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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

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A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

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No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

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I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.

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I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.

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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

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Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

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Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

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My life needs editing.

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Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.

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Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.

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I never said most of the things I said.

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If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

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Reality continues to ruin my life.

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If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.

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I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

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All men are equal before fish.

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I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

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TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

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If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.

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I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

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I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.

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If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

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There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy juice.

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As for our majority… one is enough.

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I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

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We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect.

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Turn up the lights. I don’t want to go home in the dark.

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I love to go to switzerland – if only to be near my m

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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

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Include me out.

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One man is as good as another until he has written a book.

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I saw a stationery store move.

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Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

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Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.

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I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I’m funny, and I’m a good person.

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To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

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You can’t really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

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It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.

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I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.

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If something is shocking without being funny it’s hard to justify.

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I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

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You know what’s funny to me? Attitude.

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If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that’s what I’d be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.

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Everybody’s funny if you love them.

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Everythings funnier when youre supposed to be quiet..

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Who needs television when there is so much drama on Whatsapp.

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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

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I have a date, um how do I get skinny by tomorrow?

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A wise man once told me, no matter how HOT she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her….

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If you need more TIME go and purchase a watch.

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Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one.

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No one is listening until you make a mistake.

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People who have Mobile Contacts like ‘Mom 2’, ‘Dad 2′ scare me:|

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My favourite type of people are the relatives who give me bucks when they leave. ?

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You look like a before picture.

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Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

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3 AM my cell is ringing…hey there you asleep?? No I’m Skydiving.

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People said to follow your dreams so i went back to bed.

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All my life a thought air was free…Until I bought a bag of chips.

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Great power comes with great electricity bills.

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Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver :3

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On the other hand…you have different fingers.

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I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

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Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of the shampoo

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When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message, Or calling, Becomes the enemy

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A lazy person is the one who can turn a call into a missed call.

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I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

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I hate math but I love counting money.

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I really wanna work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun ?

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I love cakes and cakes love me back perfect relation happy ending 🙂

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I try to avoid things that make me fat …… Like weighing scales , mirrors , photographs … ?

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When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just assume that they’re not up to my level of comedy.

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we live in world of smart phones and stupid people ?

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Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

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It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.

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Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

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Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! ?

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My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

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I don’t like people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE.

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I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ?

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I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂

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Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

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When I was a kid, I used to wake up early just to watch cartoons.

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I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t.

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I feel my phone vibrate sometime even when it s not in my pocket

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I was watching a tutorial on Whatsapp about how to sleep but it was so boring that I fell asleep

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I love car rides so much that I actually get disappointed when we reach our destination.

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I am not LazY i’M jUst on my eNerGy saViNg moDe.

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Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

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